“Wow, you drank that shot like it was nothing. You didn’t even make a face!”
“Anyone who’s been through a divorce can do that.”
In the Fenway
2009/09/24“I can’t really say anything because I grab everyone’s ass”
“Yeah. Me too.”
I’m available, Cameron Crowe!
2009/08/17“Can’t we go back? I know I’ve changed though there’s still work to do. But that me is…is there something in between past and present?”
“Like a perfect tense?”
“Yes, perhaps. Though I’m far from perfect.”
“But you are tense.”
In line for a flight to Aspen
2009/08/01“The thing I took from India is that no matter how poor or crippled the beggers were, they were happy. Oh, and the colors!”
In my living room
2009/07/11“You guys, I took a spinning class and it’s the closest to sex I’ve had all year!”
Berklee in summer
2009/05/30“Does she think she’s Jill Sobule or something?”
“So, um, yeah. How old ARE you?”
On the Comm Ave mall
2009/05/27“I’m allowed to have my little freak-out in public.”
“And I’m allowed to stare at you when you do.”
Near Dalton Street
2009/05/26“Hey, I’m moving faster than you.”
“Yeah, but at least I’m not rollerblading.”
Espresso Royale
2009/05/06“I don’t think she’s a bad person. I also don’t think she’s a good person.”
“Hey, did you ever play Dungeons & Dragons?”
Taking up two of Bon Bon’s outdoor seats
2009/04/26“Nobody at work gets me.”
“Maybe they don’t like you.”
At a legislative hearing
2009/04/15“Given the number of handicapped, I can’t believe it’s standing-room only!”
“I guess no one will be standing on principle.”
At a family meal
2009/04/12“And he went into the navy and it straightened him right out.”
“Well, it turned him gay.”
At a church
2009/04/08“It seems that everyone I know is eager to be categorized.”
“Well, you are a librarian.”
“Only at heart.”
Up (or down) Edgerly
2009/04/04“The optimist asks, ‘Where is she going?’ The pessimist asks, ‘What is she running from?’”
At J. Tomodachi Sushi
2009/04/04“Whenever I see a guy who insists on sitting on the same side of the table as his date, I think, ‘Wifebeater.’”
At an Indian restaurant near you
2009/04/01“I really wanted the vodka, but I left with red wine.”
“That’s a pretty low bar.”
“Yeah. But I cleared it!”
At a reading
2009/03/29“Days like today, I understand why you might take a few lives before taking your own.”
“Hey, do you want to start a new company?”
Absolutely true
2009/03/28“You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever worked with — and I’ve worked with Karl Rove!”
In a far-flung corner of the library
2009/03/28“Sometimes you want to tell all your secrets to someone new.”
“I just wish I knew what to say.”
In the cafeteria line
2009/03/26“If I had three wishes, wouldn’t that pretty much confirm the existence of god?”
Also applies to a wine tasting
2009/03/22“It drifts from your palate like potential turning to failure.”
At Roaring Fork downtown
2009/03/20“And my sponsor told me that every day I had to exercise, cry or masturbate, and I said ‘What if I can do two at once?’”
In an office in Dorchester
2009/03/11“He’s not picking you up?”
“He doesn’t have a car.”
“What is he? Impotent?”
Over lunch, the morning after
2009/03/11“And he was so excited, because he fooled me!”
“Heidi, that’s not a good sign.”
At the corner of Boylston and Hemenway
2009/03/08“I can’t seem to gain acceptance to any of the downtown tennis clubs.”
“That’s OK. There’s always squash. Or racquetball.”
Outside L’Aroma
2009/03/08“They’re like ships that pass in the afternoon.”
“Or people who don’t actually like one another.”
Eastern Standard in Kenmore Square
2009/03/08“They told me I’d go through denial, anger, bargaining, grieving, then acceptance.”
“Which one are you at now?”
“Still drinking.”
Outside a shop on South Congress
2009/03/06“Your bubble machine is out of soap.”
“Yeah. Monday’s never a good day for me.”
In the creative writing workshop of my nightmares
2009/03/05“It’s not a symbol. It’s a driving force.”
Man to plastic surgeon before entering the recovery room
2009/03/04“Hey, I remember you! You worked on my first wife!”
The BU Barnes & Noble in Kenmore Square
2009/03/03“The problem with fiction is that so much of it is written by ugly people.”
